is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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