READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
