Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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