Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Randomize
