but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
