he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
