I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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