You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
