At least make sure they are 18
Why
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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