did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
