Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
