My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
