I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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