you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
nutella sex= disaster
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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