he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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