time to smoke my breakfast
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
