We won't sleep together?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
