VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
