I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
