Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
