best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
