got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
