yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
