I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
