girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
