Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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