I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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