So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My dick has a subreddit
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
