If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
