I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
