Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
