Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
