I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
