I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
