i can't believe i had my finger in that
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
