I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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