home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
