I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
