I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
