Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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