Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
