That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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