Plan B is the new Plan A
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
