Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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