I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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