I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
