I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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