Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
