Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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