Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
