you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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