hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
