So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
