I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
