With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
