Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
