This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
