oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
