Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
