i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
