Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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