I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
being pregnant is like rehab
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
