Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize