I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
whose parrot is this?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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