Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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